Intention

I'm back at it, but taking a simpler route. Gone are the grandest of plans but not my desire to fulfill them (visions of copperplate handwriting with gorgeous Pre-Raphaelite like images in a hand bound book of shadows anyone?) I will one day create a book of shadows to rival any movie art department creation but to try to do so now is just asking for a project that will never be finished.

So I'm starting along my path again traveling towards the divine. I've got my stack of books, my reference web pages and it's a full moon what better time to begin? You know other than in November? But I'm impatient to get going so...

One of the web pages I'm using to follow on this path is The Balanced Witch she has a section titled 366 days of Magick which is exactly the type of book I was looking for when I decided to travel the road to dedication last year. I'm following along there and will be linking there as often as I can.

I know that keeping focused is going to be a challenge (for example: with my Momma brain I just spent three minutes trying to remember that "challenge" was the word I was thinking of there) I've got the Jelly Bean taking up a lot of time and energy on one side, The Peanut is on another side with her needs (she's starting school in the fall and she's been very gracious about the whole new little sister thing). Getting the time to study and put in the amount of work that this path requires in order to make it worthwhile will mean that I'll be going slowly. The wonderful thing about connecting with the divine is that it is always there, waiting for you. So step one is a statement of intention:

I am entering into a period of learning (and refreshing my knowledge) about witchcraft and connecting with the Goddess and the God through this period of re/education with the creation of a Book of Shadows in blog form. At the end of this journey I want to feel more in touch with deity and the faith that feels right to me; to have built a foundation on which I can make my faith an integral piece of my daily life.

Restart

It's nearing a year since I began doing a year and a day's worth of study. Of course that journey was derailed by the simultaneous journey of welcoming the Jelly Bean into our lives. For whatever reason the Bean was conceived in the same week that I started my studies and as the pregnancy went on with the morning sickness and tiredness and then the uncomfortableness of carrying a lot of extra weight and the aches and pains on top of all the extra appointments with doctors and specialists and personal emotional and family dramas; study took a backseat and then just exited the car all together.

While I'm not looking to take a year and a day (more like as long as it takes to get it done) I'm going to restart the journey. Fortunately for me there are a few more online resources to help out and I'm going to take full advantage of them. My goals are still the same, I'm looking to incorporate creativity into my practice and with my hands full of Peanut and Bean things I can't be doing things with hard and fast deadlines. I'm just looking to get it done in my own time.

Now, working without a specific deadline will be a challenge. I'm hoping that sharing my journey here will help spur me on.

So here's to a new beginning and many more posts to come. Soon.

The Veil Thins

This year (and last year too); I've noticed that my dreams this have been featuring some of my beloved dead. My cousin who passed last spring has been a frequent visitor as have grand parents and others. Last year the I could feel the veil thinning too. I've been trying to keep track of what is said during these dreams and to be honest; waiting to see my Dad in one or more of them. Samhain marks my annual meeting with him in the Summerlands, I look forward to sharing that time with him under the apple trees.

In the past; before we moved into a house and were living in an apartment building the thinning of the veil didn't feel so immediate throughout the month and any contact I had with my ancestors took place at the Samhain ritual. I have to say that I prefer the gradual opening to the one night approach since it reminds me that the year is a wheel that turns progressively through out the seasons.

What about you? Do you feel the veil beginning to thin too?

TIme

it seems to get away from you during the summer. Between running to appointments and heading out to the beach these last months have drifted away with not too much to show for them except a bulging belly and a bucket full of memories. My plans for gardening, making art, going for walks in the woods, revisiting the elements and connecting with them, heading out with the Peanut for picnics at the playground have all melted away in a haze of mid day naps and aforementioned beach days and appointments.

I could feel guilty about that but I don't have a lot of energy to spare on guilt. To be honest it's been a fabulous summer and other than a few moments of wishing that I could crawl inside the refrigerator with a tall glass of lemonade and a big bowl of ice cream; I don't think I'd change how I've been spending my time.

As the days grow shorter and the air becomes cooler, I expect my focus will return. I also expect that my days will start to have a little more shape than the loosey goosiness of the summer.

I'm digging in the dirt, Stay with me I need support

Hoo boy! I love song lyrics, and Peter Gabriel has some fantastic ones.

Staying on track, in a bit of a heat wave, while pregnant, and dealing with a Peanut, (who is processing the fact that she's going to have to make room in the center of our universe for the Bean and acting out because she has no idea where she's going to fit every thing) is taking a bit of a toll on my time.

My last few weeks have been hectic. Between Ultrasounds, meeting with a Social worker about post partum depression, meeting with the dietitians about starting to eat like a gestational diabetic complete with before and after meal finger poking and Ob Gyn appointments birthday parties and almost nightly bed changing as the Peanut processes all the new stuff going on and coming along I've been motivated to pick up only Disc World novels around bedtime instead of heavier reading.

But, but, I'm thinking about Earth as I go along, since the earth is all about fecundity and as a pregnant woman I am definitely showing off how fertile I am and embracing that it's not far from my mind at any given time. Moon Daughter was kind enough to comment on my last post with a link to a blog that is currently delving into each element in turn; and I have been reading along at the Domestic Witch with a lot enthusiasm. Her posts are so full of information and exercises that get right to the heart of the element plus a cool recipe for dirt cake that makes me wish I was able to dive in with a shovel if only the GD allowed for such brazen digestion of cookies, pudding and gummy worms.

I have picked Earth as my first element to explore and I hope to start digging and posting soon. I promise.

It's Elementary

Sometimes I have to get back to basics so that I can feel like I'm on the right track.

Every once in a while I go back and revisit things, to get a fresh look at something that I already know. I like to think of it as brushing up, kind of like taking a drawing class here and there. You get back to basics in order to head into a new creative direction or to see something that didn't take center stage before but leaps out at you now.

Revisiting the Elements is on my list of things to explore. Of course right now I'm feeling very attuned to water what with the mood swings that my over active hormones are causing; so I have a feeling that spending a week focused (or as focused as a pregnant Momma of a busy four year old can be) on the element of Water will flow fairly effortlessly. However I'm anticipating some turbulence with Air since Air has always been difficult for me to connect with.

This time around, I'm approaching the Elements from a creative point of view as a jumping point. Where would you start if you were in my shoes?

So now you know

what's put a little bump in the road I've been taking on my journey. And the bump is getting a little on the big side.

I haven't been completely idle over the last few weeks, I've been reading and learning here and there. Luckily for me, my fabulous second Mom (read Ma-in Law) has similar interests; and I like to pick up knowledge wherever I can. So when I noticed that she had a few books by James Van Praagh in her library stack I picked them up and started to do a little reading.

I often find that Pagan concepts are sometimes interchangeable with the concepts of other spiritual practices. Up to and including some Christian practices; although in the case of Christian and specifically some Catholic practices and rituals I know that this is because these religions picked up Pagan practices as a way to bring more people into their fold (the celebrations of Eostara and Easter for example.) What I found with Mr Van Praagh's books was that some of the things he does to get ready to practice his talents are interchangeable with what is standard practice for getting oneself ready for ritual; these things have just been fit into a shape that is more acceptable to someone who has been brought up within an environment that frowns upon (and sometimes even more than frowns upon depending on how open and loving a mind is) those things that fall outside of the norm.

Mr Van Praagh's background is based in Catholicism, (at one point in his youth he was training to become a priest) but when he gets ready to speak to the spirits he follows the steps of cleansing, grounding (imagining energy filling his body and spreading out beyond himself) and calling in his spiritual guides and Deity to protect himself and to bless his work thorough prayer and meditation.

When I get ready to do ritual I go through the same steps of cleansing, grounding where the earth's energy is drawn up from the core until is cascades out my fingers, toes and top of my head. I cast a circle by calling in the quarters and Deity as I cast a circle to help me with the work I wish to do. Looking at the two practices side by side they are very similar; almost interchangeable if you take out specifics regarding spirit and religion.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that once more my thoughts about Deity (whether Deity be a singular God or Goddess or a whole pantheon) and spiritual practice (whether it be Pagan or a more mainstream religious practice) are all about the same thing.

and just like that

another stumbling block.

This week has been a little how shall I say... I don't know how to say without getting too much into something that I'm not ready to talk about just yet but lets just say that I've have changes incoming and adjusting to them is taking away from some of the things I wanted to be writing about today instead of writing about why I'm behind. So the exercises that I mentioned in the last post are still on my to do list once I can put more focus on them. They are simple exercises and ones that I can do simply and soon once I've managed to get my equilibrium back in place or rather my footing. In the meantime I am still reading, and examining because that never stops.

It's all good, or not as bad as I thought it would be

My last post.
Of the things I've learned from this; that I am no longer willing to let things slide because there is calm after a storm is top of the list. Enough is enough. Storms should not be a regular part of life, life should not have to tip toe around in fear of starting a new one. We are moving forward and it's a long road ahead, but we are moving forward together and along the same road.

I've been reading some, and allowing myself some time to create a little each day. I'm coming across some glitches with my BOS pages but I will be able to clear these up with some problem solving. Once I've done that I'll share them here.

I'll post a little bit about what I've been reading in the few days and what my thoughts are about it all.

Witchcraft as Goddess Religion Part 2

I'm reading and re-reading and wanted to follow up on the last post. One of the side effects of doing all the reading is that I'm starting to think critically about what I'm reading and about this whole journey. Ideally a year and a day is just the beginning of the journey, the whole point is that I'm not following blindly the path that is set out but that I am creating my own road, sometimes or most of the time it will run parallel to other paths but it will be cleared by me. It's hard work but good work.

I'm not wanting to get preachy with posts based on what I've been reading. Writing down my thoughts about what is in a book is the best way for me to absorb it. Some of the ideas are new insights for me; others build upon how I think already. In the end what I'm getting from my reading of this chapter is a framework for what a Goddess religion is and how it differs from a patriarchal framework.

Thoughts on the chapter:

The inquisition: the degeneration of early Christian Asceticism (turning it's back on the world of the flesh in order to become closer to God) into misogyny. Those who were/are identified with the flesh, with sexuality (women) were/are equated with evil. Ultimately the Inquisition was a power play. A way to take away the power perceived to be held by Witches (midwives, herbalists, mothers) and put it into the hands of men. In today's world, to come out of the Broom closet is to reclaim the right for women to be as powerful as men. to accept and honour the feminine within all of us (men and women) as a part of the divine.

Like the feminist movement, the Goddess religions seek to bring equality of power. The main thing to recognize about equality of power is that giving equal power to minorities (and by minorities I include anyone who feels that they are not a part of the majority due to religious, cultural, sex, sexual orientation...) does not take power away. It's a tough one to wrap your (my) head around because most people consider power as a way to control.

The Symbolism of the Goddess is not equal to that of the symbolism of God the Father: An extension to my last thoughts, the male God rules from the outside; legitimizing male control of social institutions and over others. The God rules the world in a Patriarch. The Goddess is the world.

In Witchcraft each of s must reveal our own truth, Deity is in our own forms, whether female or male, because the Goddess has her male aspect... Religion is a matter of relinking, with the divine within and with her outer manifestations in all of the human and natural world - Starhawk The Spiral Dance.

The Goddess symbolizes the egos creativity which is the definition of the Divine Feminine

The Divine Feminine uses Goddess symbolism to describe the ego's creativity; an ever changing energy. She is inspiration, She sparks creativity. She creates fertility of both mind and spirit. The balanced harmony of all of the things that make up our world, plant/animal/people/divine is not automatic it needs to be constantly renewed which is what Craft rituals are for. The guiding principle of practicing the Craft is Honour, through realizing oneself. To love and honour yourself is to love and honour the Goddess, To love and honour our planet, the animals, our neighbors... the list could go on and on... is to love and honour the Goddess.